So many people come to me hungry for love and relationship. Some search endlessly for someone to love them, make them feel good, happy, connected and to fill their emptiness.

Yet they have put up so many barriers and protections concerning love because of previous hurt, rejection, abandonment and betrayal.

It is so sad to me that most people don’t really understand the nature of love.

I, too, have searched for love for many years and did years of therapy, healing work, shamanic work, spiritual work and anything I could to get to love. Much to my amazement, I really did find love.

The truth is that the very core of who we are is LOVE.

The more we search for love from others, the more we are focused on our lack of love, or Love deprivation. Guess what! Then that is what we attract – more love deprivation.

Energy goes where you put your attention. So if you want love, focus on LOVE.

If you don’t have the partner you want to love you in the way you want, practice loving you. Take good care of you. Eat food that nurtures your body and feels good. Do the type of exercise that fills you with good feelings. Okay. Sometimes we may not care to exercise, but you may feel great after. See movies you enjoy that pick you up instead of taking you down or into fear.

Most importantly, love wherever you can. Perhaps you have an animal, like a dog or a cat, whom you truly love. Play with them, laugh with them. They provide lots of nurturing and they don’t judge you.

Go out in nature. Enjoy it. What brings you comfort, peace or pleasure? Is it the mountains in spring, the beach at sunset or sunrise or perhaps the desert when flowers are in bloom. Nature often brings you closer to Spirit and that connection brings you closer to love.

So what can you do now if you are really tired of repeating the same mistakes you experienced in past relationships?

Here are just a few tips for your Journey to Love:

1. Find something you enjoy now and allow yourself to feel love – a place in nature, a walk in the park, being with your favorite pet.
2. Focus on what you enjoy and love in the morning and in the evening. Perhaps it is music, watching something funny or reading a touching story, whatever it is for you.
3. Begin a Gratitude Journal and write down 3 to 5 items that bring this feeling of gratefulness. Being grateful is a step towards love.
4. Have compassion for yourself, for what you have come through, for those difficult times. Yes, you survived them. You’re here now. Compassion and Gratitude bring in more of the feeling of love.
5. Create a daily practice of loving what you are doing, loving who you are with and even loving and enjoying any task you are doing, or as many as possible. This is a practice that you can get better and better at. Alright, you don’t have to love preparing taxes, but you can enjoy and love calling a friend when you’re done. Create a positive reward for yourself.
6. Make a list of your wonderful qualities or ask your friends to help you make a list. Post the list on your bathroom mirror or fridge.
7. When some of your old negative feelings about love arise, do some tapping such as EFT or self-hypnosis on them. There are many ways to release these old feelings that create barriers to love. Find out about them and use them.
8. If you can’t release negative feelings on your own successfully, get some help.

I know love is meant for everyone. Love is actually a choice. The first choice is to love yourself more.

The tips above are ones I actually practice myself. That doesn’t mean I feel love in every moment. But that is my desire and I do focus on getting to that feeling of love, compassion and Joy as much as possible.