The Gift of Loving

When I was younger, I kept waiting for someone to love me the way I wanted to be loved. Needless to say, I was often pretty miserable and unhappy.

Most of my life’s journey has been about finding love; the right partner to love me, to have my children love me, to feel loved by my parents. Actually, I wanted everyone to love me. I was always grateful for my sister who has always loved me, even though I was a bratty kid at times.

After many years of psychotherapy, healing work and shamanic work, I’ve come to a very different place about love.

Love is the core of who we really are in the very center of our Being. It is our nature, our essence. Our journey in life for many is about being willing to love in spite of the pain, the wounds, the heartbreak, the violations, the betrayals we’ve experienced. Yes, I’ve experienced all of those, just like many of you.

It is a choice to let down our walls and our barriers of so-called protections that make us feel more alone and isolated. There really are safe ways and places to go on that journey to Love with teachers and facilitators who can hold that heart space for us.valentine-tree10-01-111413-2799.eps

Healing and transforming those wounds so we can experience that feeling of love is miraculous to me. My journey has shown me that if we want love, we choose to love no matter what happens. That doesn’t mean allowing people to treat us badly. It means we choose to be around more positive, caring, nurturing, reciprocating people who want to be with us.

It means we focus on love, that sweetness, tenderness, the feeling of a baby in our arms smelling of baby powder, or nuzzling a puppy, or the beauty of majestic trees as they touch the sky at sunset. I sometimes feel like I’m looking at a God painting when I experience the beauty in nature. Waterfalls tumbling down rocks, the coolness of the water during a hike and enjoying the laughter of children playing, my grandson playing – this is God and love to me.

When we allow ourselves to open so deeply to Spirit and the Celestial realm, we hear the angels playing music inside us, the rhythms and sound of tenderness touching our soul to continue that awakening; that joyous opening in our Being, for which I am so deeply grateful

I hear in my head, “She walks in beauty and Grace.” And I feel compassion and grace inside me. I’m sitting here writing this after a very frustrating day of numerous things going wrong. And yet, I decided to do a healing group and start with one about love, since it’s almost Valentine’s Day. This is what emerged.

So I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes feeling how grateful I am for where I’m at now; the people in my life, my sister and her family, my daughters, my grandson, my son-in-law, my shaman, my coach, my friends, my assistant and intern, my virtual assistant team, and so many more who affect me.

Thank you for teaching me about the gift of loving no matter what occurs externally. The trials and tribulations of life are just practice to experience the gift of loving unconditionally no matter the circumstances.

Will you go on that journey of love with me? It’s really delightful and JOYOUS!

The Transformative Power of Gratitude

bannerWant happiness? Get grateful!

The connection between gratitude and happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of wellbeing, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

Those individuals who exhibit and express the most gratitude are happier, healthier, and more energetic. Grateful people show fewer signs of stomachaches, headaches, nausea, and spend more time exercising!

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

This is a simple extension of the Law of Attraction: Whatever you focus on increases. It isn’t about being blindly optimistic and whitewashing or ignoring the negative experiences in life. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. When we CHOOSE to focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

The Gift of Gratitude: When we focus on being grateful, we actually attract more things into our life for which we are grateful!

I like recording gratitude items in a Gratitude Positive Evidence Journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. This is accepting that when we focus on good things, the Universe joins in with us and magnetizes more good things to us. This is the MAGIC of any Gratitude Journal.

There are many things to be grateful for: colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies. What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

Keep a Gratitude Journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. I suggest writing 5 things daily, however it can be daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way. Keep it simple. A beautiful sunset, your baby’s smile, or your airplane arriving on time.

Express Your Gratitude in some form. Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures. Find your special way of expressing it: sing it, dance, it, paint it, any way that works for you. Be creative in expressing these feelings. This is especially helpful for those who are focusing on creating new, positive habits.

Look at the positive in a situation, not what is wrong. Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation. Traffic is terrible on your way to work because of an accident, but your supervisor understands. Sometimes the blessing may be the lesson you learned from making an error. Service is slow in the restaurant, but you are really enjoying your friends’ company.

It is a warm, muggy afternoon in the Los Angeles area. I don’t care for it being so muggy, but I’m grateful it’s not 105 degrees since I need to leave for a meeting. And I’m so grateful for wonderful air conditioning in my home and office!

Share Your Gratitude with Those Who Are Important to You. Take time to share good feelings with important people in your life. Share your positive feelings of gratefulness with others, with real heartfelt emotions. Tell someone how much they mean to you and why.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how much more positive, content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work. Send me an email with your favorite entries in your Gratitude Positive Evidence Journal. Notice the beautiful sunny day outside, trees lowing, time to breathe in the moment. What are you grateful for today?

How to Attract More Business as a Heart-Centered Entrepreneur

banner“Entrepreneur,” it seems, has become a buzzword in recent years.  From bloggers and website gurus to inventors and salespeople, everyone is jumping on the entrepreneurial bandwagon.

But, fast-forward just a few short years and there are staggering statistics on the many entrepreneurs that have failed.  Did they not have enough passion?  Was their work ethic not good enough?  Should they have been smarter and safer?  While the questions of why often go unanswered, the truth behind the mystery often lies within the heart of the entrepreneur.

The great news for you, though, is that there is a path to success that you have control over!  As a Heart-Centered Entrepreneur, you get to decide how things work out!  Whether you are thinking about making a change to your own business, have just begun down the entrepreneur path, or are a veteran who is wanting to see more success, you have come to the right place.

To begin, let’s talk a little about what a Heart-Centered Entrepreneur actually is.  While many people associate it with a business that is spiritually oriented, this is not always the case.  Generally speaking, a Heart-Centered Entrepreneur will have these characteristics:

  • A feeling that they are “called” to their line of work
  • A desire to serve customers and clients, instead of a drive to sell
  • A connection with Source or Spirit that gives support and guidance
  • A full circle approach to business, developing both the inner and outer aspects
  • A commitment to personal growth and development

To put it a little differently, Heart-Centered Entrepreneurs aren’t just DOING something for their customers and clients, but they are BEING someone to them.

Now that you understand the basics of what it means to be a Heart-Centered Entrepreneur, the next step is to learn the steps to being successful, despite the economy or other external factors that are around you.

Heart-Centered Entrepreneurs don’t have to wait for a market to recover or a stock to stabilize, because they have the ability to create success from within, making today the perfect time to become a Heart-Centered Entrepreneur.

How can success simply be created from within, without relying on or considering the economy and other factors?  It is because once you use the following steps, you won’t be trying to compete for clients or business, but you will begin attracting more income and business to yourself!

Here is How to Attract Business to YOU:

#1 ) Consciously partner with Spirit.  This means take time to recognize that you are not alone in this endeavor, identify areas where you need assistance, strength, or ability, and then ask for help in those areas.  Surrender any fears or doubts, and really look within your heart for your path.

#2 ) Create Win-Win experiences.  This step is all about collaboration instead of competition.  Focus on creating relationships with anyone you come into contact with that will give back to that person or business and be productive and positive for both parties.  This is where a Heart-Centered Entrepreneur will greatly differ in approach, due to their strong desire to serve, not sell.

#3 ) Raise your energy vibration.  Think about it like this, your energy is your business card and you have the potential to be a business and money magnet!  What this means is that you become magnetic and people feel compelled to work with you because they sense your energy and KNOW that you can help them!

Success really does happen and you have the power within yourself to make your Heart-Centered Business flourish and shine!  By actively partnering with Spirit and taking the time to follow these easy steps, you will begin to see the things you desire for your business actually seeking you out!  So, get out there and create your dream business!  You can do this!

10 Tips for Emotional Spring Cleaning

Spring has sprung! Now is the time to clean house, not only outside, but our inner house as well. This is the place where our emotions, attitudes and beliefs reside – you know what I mean, the place inside us from which we run our entire lives. Now is the time to take an inventory of all your behaviors and patterns such as negative self-talk, unproductive thinking and words we express, and all that baggage of emotional past experiences. This requires sorting out, just like when we physically clean our environment. What do we want to keep, to throw away and to give away.

In the Christian tradition, Lent prepares people to clean out prior to celebrating Easter. In the Jewish tradition, one month prior to Passover, everything is cleaned out. Many of the major religions talk about the necessity of purifying to make room for a rebirth, resurrection, mating in springtime, a spiritual awakening or enjoying a playful spring recess. This certainly is a time to refresh from the inside out.

Think in terms of your body being your Inner Temple and your home being your Outer Temple. Let’s continue with cleansing your Inner Temple.

  • Center Yourself: To decide what to keep of your values, beliefs, memories of past experiences, messages you were taught, and behaviors in which you engage, it is wise to quiet yourself and take a few moments to meditate. Allow the silence to be your teacher. Have your journal by your side to record your thoughts and progress. Then ask your inner self – or better yet, your Higher Self – “Which behavior patterns and emotional reactions are not serving me now?” Then listen inside. Some of you receive images, words, statements, a sound, or a moving picture to represent your answers. Write and write, without editing or questioning. Just bear witness to what comes through you.
  • Now that your list is complete, notice what emotions and reactions occur. Separate your list into sections, if you desire. For example, some categories might be: Negative Self-Talk, “Excuses I Make”, “I Can’ts”, “Procrastination Areas”, “If only’s”, “Excessive Emotions like Anger, Resentments I Hold Onto” and you may find it best for you to create your own categories. Be aware of how your buttons get pushed.
  • Make a list of positive messages, emotions and responses you would rather experience in your life. Include your list of what you could do to feel more empowered. These might be in the form of affirmations or choice statements.
  • You’re ready to create a new goal list. Perhaps two to four goals for each emotional issue you wish to release. Decide on which emotional baggage you want to release or shift first. Number the rest of the negative beliefs or reactions that emerged so you have the order of what you want to deal with when ready.
  • Select the method or technique you wish to use to release these old reactions. Some of the best methods for releasing negative emotions are EFT, Self-hypnosis, Reichian work, and if it’s one of the biggies connected to the fear and anger of abuse, EMDR may be the method of choice, in which case it’s important to work with a therapist. For some issues, like everyday anger, it might be a cognitive method such as, “Count to 10 when I get angry before speaking or doing something.” Or, “I will write in my journal until the emotion subsides.”
  • Decide on a time frame for working with each emotional issue. Remember: since releasing negative emotions is not like doing a physical housecleaning item, your time frame needs to be flexible. Be gentle on yourself.
  • Notice the underlying fears, concerns or issues that arise as you change your behavior. Then you may need to address these aspects as they come up.
  • Evaluate your progress. You may choose to evaluate weekly or monthly. You decide what works best for you. Are there tangible differences in your behavior?
  • Create a Win List and write on it every time you do something positive toward a behavior change.
  • Reward yourself by a simple pat on the back. Or, find another way to reward yourself that feels good inside. When I’ve worked on and accomplished something that is personally challenging, I reward myself with a break and talking to a friend. How can you reward you in a meaningful way?


Here is a positive choice statement that might work for you. Try it – you might like it.

I choose to totally and fully take charge of my emotional reactions and behavior patterns. I delight in my new, positive beliefs and behaviors as I open to a joyful and magnificent life!

Summertime Frolic and Fun


Feminine Power–The Art of Surrender

To many, feminine power–the art of surrender, may appear to be a paradox. I have learned that there is often truth in paradox. When one surrenders from a place of love, it is an act of great power. Even though men such as Jesus, Moses, and Gandhi, have surrendered to the will of God, the act of surrender in both men and women comes from the inner feminine aspect. What is the power of surrender? Why is it important? What is necessary to accomplish it ? How is the sexual arena especially important? Continue reading

The Quest of Balance and Wholeness

To be whole and balanced is to develop the integrity of every aspect of self. Within the context of the soul’s development, I believe it means being conscious of and integrating all parts or sub-personalities within us, i.e. the lover, caretaker, tyrant, teacher, mother, father, manipulator, critic, etc. Continue reading

Stress Success Quickies


Relationship & The Vampire

“A sexual vampire. You’re dating a sexual vampire. He lives off women’s sexual energy to feed him.” Although I thought I should stop seeing this man, I had no intention of doing this. Instead, I did the only other thing I could. I studied the pattern and tracked the wound, the events in relationship and the codependency that it created. My teacher continued, “Notice his feet and hands are often cold and his body is thin and emaciated looking.” I continued observing every movement and change that occurred to me and in the relationship. Continue reading

Relationship & The Vampire

“A sexual vampire. You’re dating a sexual vampire. He lives off women’s sexual energy to feed him.” Although I thought I should stop seeing this man, I had no intention of doing this. Instead, I did the only other thing I could. I studied the pattern and tracked the wound, the events in relationship and the codependency that it created. My teacher continued, “Notice his feet and hands are often cold and his body is thin and emaciated looking.” I continued observing every movement and change that occurred to me and in the relationship. Continue reading

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