My Journey to Hell and Back – From a Recovering Perfectionist

 

Oh, No!!! The techy thing got me, Again!

I signed up for a great new writing class and I was so excited to meet for the first writing session so I can work on my About Me Page for my website revision.

I’ve been on many webinars, so this one is no problem – I thought. I even got on it 15 minutes before the start of the class. Plenty of time, right? It should be a breeze.

Wrong!!! This one was on zoom.us. It asked for an application and GoToMeeting came up so I clicked on it. Oh no, I couldn’t get into the group room. The dang computer rejected the code I had for the class. I tried a few more times to no avail. This sucks!

I even emailed the class assistant, but she didn’t get back to me. Well, she did a bit later, but not immediately. She kindly wrote back she’d help me on the Facebook page.

But I couldn’t find the FB page on the materials we received. Now I know it’s there. There it goes, BRAIN FREEZE because I’m upset and stressed. I’m sure the Facebook link will be staring me in the face later, but not now when I need it.

“If only I were 30 years younger, I’d get all this stuff easily, but I’m not. They’re not going to want me in the writing program. I can’t even figure out how to get on the call.

I called in by phone even if that’s not good enough in my mind. After all I like fully taking part of everything when I join something.

There I go down the rabbit hole of ‘I’m just not good enough, or I’d get it, or even find the Facebook link.’” Blah, blah, blah.

There goes the whip, in my own hand. I’m going down the familiar miserable spiral into Inner Hell. How much longer do I need to beat me up before I realize I CAN stop this?

Ok, I CAN SHIFT THIS. After all, that’s what I help people do all the time. I’m not going to waste my time any more. I’m going to make this work, somehow.

All right. Nothing else to do to quiet this feeling except to meditate and connect in with my guides, and Higher Self. That’s better than to keep feeling sh&#ty the rest of the day about this.

I probably should have meditated before the class. There I go again, not good enough because I didn’t meditate prior to the class.

So I meditated and feel a little better. Forget writing the About Me Page. Write about how I feel right now, since nothing else will actually work.

That is exactly what I did. I wrote the above section of this blog. That actually does feel better.

Really now, what else can I expect from a Recovering Perfectionist. At least this time I didn’t beat me up for hours or days, or even months like I used to do whenever I screwed up. This time it was only 12 minutes.

Hip, hip hurray for a Recovering Perfectionist.

And now, of course, I just found the email to the facebook forum. I will get into the group room by next week. I’m taking a big deep breath to let go even more.

I will be ok. I am ok. I am fine. I truly feel wonderful. I’m proud of myself for gently pushing the old perfectionist pattern away by transforming the energy and choosing to take the higher road.

I’m so grateful for my guides, my Higher Self and God.

If this Recovering Perfectionist learned how to transmute that lower level energy, so can you!

The following version of my Healing Visualization is what I did in order to feel better and be able to write this blog.

Brief Version of my Healing Visualization

• Surround yourself with golden light.
• Call in God (or your version), your guides, Higher Self, healing angels, Archangels.
• Bring your energy down your body to your feet.
• Connect to the core of the earth.
• Feel Mother Earth.
• Bring the energy back up your body.
• Balance and open all your chakras.
• Go into your Sacred Heart Space and feel love.
• Get on the Universal Golden Energy Grid.
• Release any negative feelings any way that works for you.
• Use the angelic vacuum vortex or counterclockwise spiral and release into the earth.
• Replace the energy with a few positive feelings like empowerment, focus and love.
• Connect in again with the Divine and feel love, peace, connection and JOY!

Here’s to the Recovering Perfectionist in all of us!

Let me know how this process works for you.

Sending you all lots of Love, Blessings and JOY!